Monday, June 6, 2011

A New Resolution

My name is Laurie Muench and I am a 40 years old with a big bum. All my life I have hated my body, even when I was a size that I would now give my flabby right arm to be at again. I have walked, aerobicized, jogged, and even ran a half marathon in the hopes of reducing the width of my bottom.
However, to be absolutely honest, I hate exercising. No, that isn’t a strong enough word—I loathe exercising. I don’t like to be sweaty and I love to lounge behind a computer.
So why do I subject myself to such torments on an almost, but not quite, daily basis? The proper answer should be I’m keeping my body healthy so I can be around for my family for the future. However, that isn’t the real driving force behind my mobility. The actual motivation for my action is shallow and pathetic: I adore clothes.
 Clothes are those magical items that look so cute and fashionable on a hanger, but when I try them on, transform into frumpy and tasteless pieces of cloth. I dream of reducing the size of my body in the hopes that my dresses will someday look as good on me as they do on the models whose waists are the size of one of my ankles.
So, what torture device have I chosen this time to abuse my body in my never-ending quest for skinniness? It’s a simple machine, one that I actually used all the time as a kid—a bicycle.
Why did I choose to start riding a bike? Bicycles are wonderful machines. They are beautiful to look at, they are much faster than walking, and they come in lots of interesting colors and shapes. Plus, my super skinny husband—who doesn’t have a fat bottom—has recently taken up riding. He would love to have his plump little wife go with him on some of his travels.
This diary will be a travelogue of some of my rides. It is a journal to keep track of The Adventures of a Big Bummed Girl and her Bike.

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